I find relationships hard

I yearn for deep love and connection daily, the hard thing in relationship is being able to navigate both your own feelings, and those of the other person, whether that’s a spouse, a lover, a child, a parent or a friend. We all have different ideas, values, expectations and beliefs about what a ‘good’ relationship looks like. These ideas come from our own experience of childhood, watching our parents, the culture we grew up in, or popular culture – books, movies or TV shows.

We end up not even knowing what we want, what we need and what we actually expect our partner to provide for us. If you’ve ever fantasized about or questioned fairy tales or romantic stories, the David Diedre books really help open your mind, explain the polarising nature of males and females, and what deep love and connection should feel like.

The reality of life and all the stress

I have spent a long time being unsatisfied in a relationship, sometimes it can be great, if the circumstances are good (on holidays) and sometimes when life gets hectic, it’s not so good. The stress and pressure of reality comes tumbling in at times and we find ourselves so busy that we don’t make time to connect with each other each day. We forget to make plans to be together and we forget why we actually like each other. 

I spent a lot of time blaming, shaming, and being resentful. I asked quietly, I asked lovingly. But the words weren’t right, I didn’t know what I needed. I just knew I wanted more.

I’ve wasted a lot of years complaining, and being ungrateful trying to navigate my relationship. The internal conflict was overwhelming. Should I stay, should I go, what should I do, who should I talk to? Every therapist has their own experience of love and relationship and the processes they studied to help you on your journey. And everyone has their own unique relationship, that is completely unique to the people in the relationship, so if you changed partners it would look different again.

Who are you really?

One of the greatest things I have learnt is that you need to know yourself, who you are and what defines your identity as a human. Once you have that sorted, you can start to know your other person, to open up to them, to be brave enough to be vulnerable with them. Every day, each moment. 

Deep love and connection only come from being open and vulnerable. How can we access the deep love we desire, if we are not willing to explore and express the deepest parts of ourselves? We resist it, we don’t really want to feel all the parts of us, it can be painful, we risk being hurt, we risk embarrassment or worse, rejection.   

This is where I come in to help you navigate the wonderful world of relationships, to be able to know yourself so deeply and lovingly that it is easy for you to feel confident in yourself. To free your inner spirit from the old limiting beliefs, the constant fears and obsession with wanting life to be better.

Be comfortable with yourself.

Comfortable enough to know what is right for you, and what it is you want in life. We can go round in circles forever if nothing changes, right? Stuck, forever in a cycle of negativity and inner conflict sounds crap. Is that how you want to live? Anxious, angry and depressed? I ask myself this everyday as I open myself up to deep love and connection, and it always starts with me choosing love, in each and every moment.

Everyday is a new day, and everyday I make this decision to come back to love and what is important to me. I know better than most that you cannot buy happiness, that it only comes from within. And if choosing love everyday means not getting the renovation we planned because it’s too stressful, so be it. I feel love in my heart and that is what is important to me. Just being present with what is offered to me each day, when I open myself up to love, to receive it in my heart, the rest will flow.

This is mindset, this is also energy work. 

Where thought goes energy flows, and if I am thinking negative thoughts, if I am resentful and closed off to love, no love will flow to me. If I am open, to the possibilities of life, to magic happening, then I am open to receiving love and whatever flows my way. 

If this is something that resonates with you and you would like to clear away overwhelming negative emotions and old limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in a pattern of negativity and attracting the wrong people, circumstances or attention, then book in a free call to chat about what’s going on for you and how I can help Free Your Inner Spirit.