Gratitude at Christmas & New Years

So the lead up to Christmas was rough and tough. The end of the year was busy, hot and emotional. Mother Earth was burning all around us and fire = anger. Everyone has been feeling it, emotions rising and needing release. Look out to whoever gets in the way. I was a depressed mop, so I managed to scrape my proverbial self off the floor and make my Christmas feel special to me. I found some gratitude.

I normally feel disappointed at Christmas and New Years. I think it’s because I have so many big ambitions and hopes for the future, yet I feel like I don’t achieve anything. Life is going by so fast and I have FOMO – fear of missing out or missing opportunities. Of course my mood depends on the time of the month. Or the stage of the moon’s travels over earth, it all makes a difference to how I feel. 

I was feeling cynical about the giving of gifts, the state of the world, the bush fires, children starving in Yemen. I’d been feeling anxious about Christmas day. I guess I’ve always felt like this about Christmas, it’s turned into a weird tradition in our culture. It feels fake, an onslaught of consumerism at its most vulgar. I know for some people gift giving and gift receiving brings them joy and makes them feel loved. What I need to feel close to people is a good old fashioned deep and meaningful conversation. All I want is to be heard = loved. If you give me a gift and also give me your time and attention then yes I happily accept and appreciate your gift, but I don’t need it to feel loved. 

My biggest challenge at Christmas is coming face to face with people I love but who don’t talk about their lives or feelings like I do. How do I feel close to them? How do I connect?

Since gift giving is not my thing, I have to be content with just being in flow with my loved ones. Allowing them to be themselves and simply love them, it’s one of the hardest things in life, acceptance. Acceptance of myself right now and loving myself. Accepting others, accepting the state of the world, accepting all those things I cannot change. Still managing to find hope, forgiveness and beauty in all the ugliness, cruelty and devastation at the end of the day, is no mean feat.

I’ve always believed the old saying that world peace starts at home. So I have always worked on myself, read books, attended workshops, classes, courses, I do journalling, to help me feel happy, content and at peace. To help me have healthy relationships, with myself and others, with no blame, no guilt, no fear. Only love, acceptance, forgiveness and courage.

Choosing to be a part of a family means exactly that, to see through the rabble of incidences, emotions and personalities and focus on the spiritual beings of light that we are. I sat with my Grandma Peggy at Christmas and listened to her stories I’ve heard 100 times before. She’s a born storyteller so they never get old or boring just like her. Always dressed in matching outfits, jewellery and never without her lipstick. Always a present for the kids and happy to see you, with a big smile, a warm hug and welcoming words. A friendly face to whoever walks in the door, stops to talk to her on the street or up the jetty where she loves to fish. 

This Christmas I feel so grateful I got to hang out with my Grandma. She has given me the love of the ocean, the love of warm hugs and beautiful smiles, with her cheeky sense of humour and wild woman ways. She has taught me to believe in myself as a woman of the world, in spirit, in the love of life, in nature and in people. Her greatest gift is herself, the greatest lesson she taught me is gratitude. I don’t think I’ve got the hang of it yet, so here’s to working on gratitude this year.

Instead of letting self doubt and fear based thoughts rule my mind, or worrying about missed opportunities, I’m going to take the bull by the horns. Take back control of my mind by practising meditation and use it like the super computer tool that it is. I’m going to get a calendar and make a plan. I will take responsibility for my life, I am in the driver’s seat and I will make decisions based on love, acceptance, forgiveness, kindness, respect, community, courage and gratitude. Let’s do this New Year and make it count towards a better future for all.

Thank you Great Spirit

If you need help finding acceptance or gratitude this year, come along to our Reset Meditation class at Thebarton Community Centre on monday nights starting 13th January 2020 from 7.45pm to 8.45pm. To book call or text Toni on 0430860448.